There and back again... post 1 updated with full story :D

chaoticdismay

the rippin and the tearin
A tale by Bilbo Bagg.... :uhh: A tale of storms, plagues, cursings, tracks, and of course, shenanigans.

Chapter 4: A new hope!
The story starts as a man in search of noise, unknowingly plans a venture Eastward, in trek into the unknown, which later turns into an adventure he and the involved parties would never forget.
Our heroines of this tale are no other than Eric the Adventurous and Rico the Wise (Old...). Eric, the shorter of the two, was in need of something "new"... something he had been wanting for some time, exhaust. After a long and exhaustive (uhh) search, he found it! Little did he know, it was not to be had so easily. No sir, but all is well, as it came in the shape of Mysteed the Awesome's spare mac full cat-back kit. It was an amazing sight to behold, "ZOMG. I can't wait!", "teehhehehe this is gonna be SWEET" or "hold on a minute, waitor? I didn't order mahi mahi" were just some of the joyful phrases that little Eric mentioned from the day Mysteed told him about said cat-back, til the day he and Rico would later head out (to the land of Mysteed); a journey they will never forget... (no matter how they try :uhh:).

As excited as can be, Eric started to plan his voyage. Being a novice road-racer and through previous talkings with Greensteeda the Banhappy, he decided to head to Mysteed's realm around the same time a track day would occur in the land of Andrew. These plans were made well in advance, as to ensure the trip would take place and all involved parties could indeed make it. After said plans were made, Eric asked Rico the Old... I mean Wise, if he would so care to join in his quest; of course, the Rico accepted.

The trip was supposed to be simple enough: both would drive to Mysteed's and install the exhaust, wander up to Greensteeda's for some trackings (Rico doesn't know how to make left or right turns, he can only drive in straight lines; it's how he lives his life) and finally journey back to their beloved land where women waited for them to return (seriously, starting to date a chick before going on this trip could have acted as a wrench thrown into the Rico-machine, but all was well, as he worked his magic and things later turned out well :thumbup:). This all sounded good, but as time neared, troubles began to occur.

Rico ultimately decided he would forgo the bringing of his chariot, a choice he would later regret. So on the day of May 22nd, 2008, Eric and Rico loaded up the red rocket (btw, leather seats SUCK if they aren't perforated and it's hot as balls out :thumbdown:) and traveled East. The journey ahead of them was to be long and arduous, but what else is to be expected when one travels away from the safety of their home land.



...​




Chapter L: The safe-word is "Hwhiskey."
The adventure began in Texas, a state that (in the East) is as flat as Kiera Knightly (and just as hot :uhh:; but seriously, she is hot :drool:). The trip was going well until they saw something in front of them they knew they couldn't avoid; a sign saying "welcome to Louisiana. we have shitty roads because we like to party (NO, you guys don't party, only I party)." It was too late to turn back, so they 2 ventured on into the unknown. Louisiana wasn't too bad for them, and before long, they were headed into the Mississippi...

As they crossed the border, it had become apparent to them that god must have hated Mississippi... it rained the entire way through. The two thought this was bad, until they reached Alabama. During a pit stop, they got out of their vehicle and when they came back, it was covered in bugs; millions of tiny winged creatures. Their was no escape, they were everywhere. One couldn't go to the bathroom without feeling as if they had recently contracted a new form of crabs (now with wings, for her heavy days...). After they themselves were covered in bugs, whilst pumping gas, they high-tailed it out of there. Maybe Alabama killed god's brother or something and he was pissed at them, who knows!

As the night kept coming, our main characters finally made it to the land of Mysteed; a place they call Georgia. Upon arrival, they sought shelter and found a place called Hampton Inn. They walked in and the Rico said "excuse me sir, do you have any rooms for sale?" (<-true story) and the man behind the counter said, "nope, doesn't look like it" without really doing much typing behind the computer... maybe he thought the travelers were gay :confused:. So the couple headed next door to a local competitor and obtained a room... a "suite" actually.


king beds for a couple, seperated for the pictures of course :uhh:







After a long nights rest, they headed out to the castle of Steed, Mysteed. But before they headed out, the Rico had to relieve himself; luckily for him, this crazy land they call Georgia has special piss receptacles on the outsides of buildings :uhh:





After Rico went tinkle, a call was placed to Mysteed (his bologna has a first name and it's "N-A-T-H-A-N") and they headed to his castle. After a cordial meeting, they began work on installing Eric's beloved exhaust (well... soon to be his); a simple task that shouldn't have taken as long as it had. The 3 musketeers were beat down, tired, and rained out after a few hours of working and since hunger was attacking them, they decided to eat and headed to the local "Taco Mac" were hilarity ensued.



...​




chapter @: ... and that's why Jesus invented lemons.
The Rico can be crazy at times, something Eric was well aware of but Nathan had yet to experience. As they walked in, the greeters asked them the usual, "How are you" etc etc and under her breath the lady said "hmmm, James" to which Rico replied "James doesn't sound like a hot chick..." Eric shook his head and Nathan laughed as they were headed to a table were Stephanie would be their server.

After ordering beers, talking to each other, and eatings of food, the talk somehow made its way to the subject of lemons. The waitress came back to the table and Rico said, "Excuse me, I hate to bother you but I have to ask you something." The waitress replied, "sure, it's no bother. What do you need?" Rico went in for the kill, "Have you ever heard about the lemon test?" The Nathan and Eric turned their heads as they tried to keep themselves from laughing. To his delight, the waitress said "no" so Rico began his story.

"Well, you see. When a man and his lady friend are 'together' for the first time, it is best if the man has a lemon near by. As he proceeds in going downwards to the nether region of his new friend, he should squirt a lemon ... between her legs." Of course, the waitress' face looked like :eek:... "What the man wants, is the normal 'ummmm, hello?!?! wtf are you doing with a lemo... why did you just squirt me?' 'sorry bout that, just wanted to test something out' and then they'd go about their business. NOW, if the man gets a 'ummmm, hello?!?! wtf are you doing with a lemo... OMG IT BURNS!!! STOP!!! DEAR LORD GOD SWEET BABY JESUS MY VAGINE IS ON FIRE!!!' he should immediately leave and never see said woman again. And this is why Jesus invented lemons."

The waitress was a trooper, she laughed and went on her way, as the Rico was kind of keeping her from doing her yob. Once the bill came, Rico and the others thanked the waitress, whom they had befriended, and hoped that she had a wonderful day. The group then headed back to la casa de Mysteed so they could finish Eric's car work. After man hours, many expletives, cuts and bruises, the exhaust was finally on; a job where the hard parts were done easily/fast and the easy parts took too long.

By this time, it was late in the eve and our heroines still had to head to Greensteeda-land; a place called Tennessee. They said their goodbyes to Nathaniel, bid him adieu, and headed northwest. The drive took several hours and after all was said and done, they arrived in Tennessee around 3am... only to wake up at 6 so Andrew and Eric could help cause global warming.



...​




Chapter chapter: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
6AM is at the door, and it's carrying a big pile of wake the **** up. Andrew, along with his friend Tadrick the Taddy Tadderson McTadz, Eric and the Rico, beat the **** out of 6AM and left for the track (that 6AM sure can be a pushy asshole sometimes :disgust:). Once they arrived, they set up shop; 2 v6 mustangs (one, a newly modded v6 ready for action. the other... a b52 bomber :uhh:) among a group of cars anyone would love: old school stangs, z06 vettes, porches, camaros, more vettes, more mustangs, mustangs, a NSX, mustangs, some beat to **** nascar-ish trucks & car, some skys, an evo, s2000s etc etc.

blah blah blah races yippey. Have you ever felt like "god damn ****, i should have brought my car too!!!!"? Well Rico did, and the only thing he had to show for that day was a bunch of track vids and pics of Eric the Great driving... and a ****ing sunburn (he's like a ****ing lobster :lol:). The track was fun, everyone had a great time and everyone learned something: just because your nascar-looking car is, well, nascar-looking and it is loud as ****, doesn't mean that it's fast (maybe it was a real nascar car at one point THEY did an ls1 swap :uhh:).

The ride home was fun, Rico urged Eric to get Andrew to street race :)lol:), they did, he agreed, and then banned them from the universe. Well, that last part was a lie, but Eric and Rico did paddle themselves by the Andrew for the win :thumbup:. The night concluded with beer, ribs, beer, the hot tub :)love:) and then crashing at 10PM :)lol: @ them, 10PM).

The next day was the end of the journey for Eric and Rico, they had seen plagues, had lived through rains, pissed in cigarette canisters, installed car parts, raced cars, got sunburned, ate food and drank beer (not in any particular order). After they woke, they packed their belongings and headed out for home, a long awaited sight.

BUT!!!!!

On the way home the Rico made the observation that lead to the conclusion of why Cliffurry hates programming Tennessee .... although they can do hexadecimal, they divide by zero :lol:


Also, "geyer springs" :uhh:


The Eric, happy as a lark because he got to road race (at the track) as well as obtain "new" exhaust, and Rico, happy to be home so he could start plans to buy certain things and see his lady friend, were happy to get home, even if it was late at night.

A four day trip well worth it, in their opinions... just... hopefully they don't have to spend that much time in a car again for a long time :lol:.


THE END... for now ;)
 

chaoticdismay

the rippin and the tearin
Chapter L: The safe-word is "Hwhiskey."
The adventure began in Texas, a state that (in the East) is as flat as Kiera Knightly (and just as hot :uhh:; but seriously, she is hot :drool:). The trip was going well until they saw something in front of them they knew they couldn't avoid; a sign saying "welcome to Louisiana. we have shitty roads because we like to party (NO, you guys don't party, only I party)." It was too late to turn back, so they 2 ventured on into the unknown. Louisiana wasn't too bad for them, and before long, they were headed into the Mississippi...

As they crossed the border, it had become apparent to them that god must have hated Mississippi... it rained the entire way through. The two thought this was bad, until they reached Alabama. During a pit stop, they got out of their vehicle and when they came back, it was covered in bugs; millions of tiny winged creatures. Their was no escape, they were everywhere. One couldn't go to the bathroom without feeling as if they had recently contracted a new form of crabs (now with wings, for her heavy days...). After they themselves were covered in bugs, whilst pumping gas, they high-tailed it out of there. Maybe Alabama killed god's brother or something and he was pissed at them, who knows!

As the night kept coming, our main characters finally made it to the land of Mysteed; a place they call Georgia. Upon arrival, they sought shelter and found a place called Hampton Inn. They walked in and the Rico said "excuse me sir, do you have any rooms for sale?" (<-true story) and the man behind the counter said, "nope, doesn't look like it" without really doing much typing behind the computer... maybe he thought the travelers were gay :confused:. So the couple headed next door to a local competitor and obtained a room... a "suite" actually.


king beds for a couple, seperated for the pictures of course :uhh:







After a long nights rest, they headed out to the castle of Steed, Mysteed. But before they headed out, the Rico had to relieve himself; luckily for him, this crazy land they call Georgia has special piss receptacles on the outsides of buildings :uhh:





After Rico went tinkle, a call was placed to Mysteed (his bologna has a first name and it's "N-A-T-H-A-N") and they headed to his castle. After a cordial meeting, they began work on installing Eric's beloved exhaust (well... soon to be his); a simple task that shouldn't have taken as long as it had. The 3 musketeers were beat down, tired, and rained out after a few hours of working and since hunger was attacking them, they decided to eat and headed to the local "Taco Mac" were hilarity ensued.
 

chaoticdismay

the rippin and the tearin
chapter @: ... and that's why Jesus invented lemons.
The Rico can be crazy at times, something Eric was well aware of but Nathan had yet to experience. As they walked in, the greeters asked them the usual, "How are you" etc etc and under her breath the lady said "hmmm, James" to which Rico replied "James doesn't sound like a hot chick..." Eric shook his head and Nathan laughed as they were headed to a table were Stephanie would be their server.

After ordering beers, talking to each other, and eatings of food, the talk somehow made its way to the subject of lemons. The waitress came back to the table and Rico said, "Excuse me, I hate to bother you but I have to ask you something." The waitress replied, "sure, it's no bother. What do you need?" Rico went in for the kill, "Have you ever heard about the lemon test?" The Nathan and Eric turned their heads as they tried to keep themselves from laughing. To his delight, the waitress said "no" so Rico began his story.

"Well, you see. When a man and his lady friend are 'together' for the first time, it is best if the man has a lemon near by. As he proceeds in going downwards to the nether region of his new friend, he should squirt a lemon ... between her legs." Of course, the waitress' face looked like :eek:... "What the man wants, is the normal 'ummmm, hello?!?! wtf are you doing with a lemo... why did you just squirt me?' 'sorry bout that, just wanted to test something out' and then they'd go about their business. NOW, if the man gets a 'ummmm, hello?!?! wtf are you doing with a lemo... OMG IT BURNS!!! STOP!!! DEAR LORD GOD SWEET BABY JESUS MY VAGINE IS ON FIRE!!!' he should immediately leave and never see said woman again. And this is why Jesus invented lemons."

The waitress was a trooper, she laughed and went on her way, as the Rico was kind of keeping her from doing her yob. Once the bill came, Rico and the others thanked the waitress, whom they had befriended, and hoped that she had a wonderful day. The group then headed back to la casa de Mysteed so they could finish Eric's car work. After man hours, many expletives, cuts and bruises, the exhaust was finally on; a job where the hard parts were done easily/fast and the easy parts took too long.

By this time, it was late in the eve and our heroines still had to head to Greensteeda-land; a place called Tennessee. They said their goodbyes to Nathaniel, bid him adieu, and headed northwest. The drive took several hours and after all was said and done, they arrived in Tennessee around 3am... only to wake up at 6 so Andrew and Eric could help cause global warming.
 

chaoticdismay

the rippin and the tearin
Chapter chapter: Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
6AM is at the door, and it's carrying a big pile of wake the **** up. Andrew, along with his friend Tadrick the Taddy Tadderson McTadz, Eric and the Rico, beat the **** out of 6AM and left for the track (that 6AM sure can be a pushy asshole sometimes :disgust:). Once they arrived, they set up shop; 2 v6 mustangs (one, a newly modded v6 ready for action. the other... a b52 bomber :uhh:) among a group of cars anyone would love: old school stangs, z06 vettes, porches, camaros, more vettes, more mustangs, mustangs, a NSX, mustangs, some beat to **** nascar-ish trucks & car, some skys, an evo, s2000s etc etc.

blah blah blah races yippey. Have you ever felt like "god damn ****, i should have brought my car too!!!!"? Well Rico did, and the only thing he had to show for that day was a bunch of track vids and pics of Eric the Great driving... and a ****ing sunburn (he's like a ****ing lobster :lol:). The track was fun, everyone had a great time and everyone learned something: just because your nascar-looking car is, well, nascar-looking and it is loud as ****, doesn't mean that it's fast (maybe it was a real nascar car at one point THEY did an ls1 swap :uhh:).

The ride home was fun, Rico urged Eric to get Andrew to street race :)lol:), they did, he agreed, and then banned them from the universe. Well, that last part was a lie, but Eric and Rico did paddle themselves by the Andrew for the win :thumbup:. The night concluded with beer, ribs, beer, the hot tub :)love:) and then crashing at 10PM :)lol: @ them, 10PM).

The next day was the end of the journey for Eric and Rico, they had seen plagues, had lived through rains, pissed in cigarette canisters, installed car parts, raced cars, got sunburned, ate food and drank beer (not in any particular order). After they woke, they packed their belongings and headed out for home, a long awaited sight.

BUT!!!!!

On the way home the Rico made the observation that lead to the conclusion of why Cliffurry hates programming Tennessee .... although they can do hexadecimal, they divide by zero :lol:


Also, "geyer springs" :uhh:


The Eric, happy as a lark because he got to road race (at the track) as well as obtain "new" exhaust, and Rico, happy to be home so he could start plans to buy certain things and see his lady friend, were happy to get home, even if it was late at night.

A four day trip well worth it, in their opinions... just... hopefully they don't have to spend that much time in a car again for a long time :lol:.


THE END... for now ;)
 

chaoticdismay

the rippin and the tearin
:lol:

Great start to your story Rico. I want more!
you got it sir :D:thumbup:

:lol:

durka durka?
:lol: it's like 911 times 100

You seriously pissed in there. :lol:
:uhh: maybe i did and maybe i didn't :uhh:

You posted the picture. bwahahahahahahaha
:lol::thumbup:

bwaahahaha! this thread = win!


I shall post my smiley of approval!
[IMG /]
thanks and awesome-o pic sir.

The lemon test...and you described it so well. :love:
:lol: atleast she was laughing and having a good time with us.

:lol:

The story is getting better and better. Its especialy good for a night that one cannot sleep.
glad to help :D

this thread needs a shot of penicillin :lol:
or aids, either one's fine by me.
 
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