Understanding Engineers...

N_terst8

00Stang
:lol:

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE ONE

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday
minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,
"Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE TWO

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE THREE

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a
word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh,
yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them
play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment, then the pastor said, "That's so
sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for
them."

The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FOUR

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FIVE

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SIX

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body.

One said, "It was a mechanical engineer." Just look at all the
joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
has many thousands of electrical connections.

The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who
else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SEVEN

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.


Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features yet.


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE EIGHT

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it
was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the
passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?"

Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to
the lab and get some work done."


UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE NINE

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girl friend, but a talking frog, now that's cool
 

fly4navy117

Single anchor master race
OMG LOL! That was awesome. Even though I'm only in my second year of school, I've met so many people like these. Great post IMO.
 

speedbump

cool guy
thats great, im taking that to work tomorrow.

here is a picture one of our engineers has on his wall that describes perfectly the way projects are designed.

 

N_terst8

00Stang
There is a huge rivalryat my school between civil engineers and mechanical engineers.

So I love Take Four... :lol:
 

yodman

Switching it up
Haha, dude this is totally 85% or more of my University. I'm part of the 15% that's not so much like this. That's just pure awesome. Nice find.

~Cody
 

00Stang38

Where's the Boost?
That hits the nail on the head (both the jokes and the project development) we've got that blown up here at the office to chuckle at.... it's true though
 

TGUNS06GT

I wish I had a 900hp wing
There is a huge rivalryat my school between civil engineers and mechanical engineers.

So I love Take Four... :lol:
Trust me.... there will be a rivalry between Mechanical Engineers and all other types for the rest of your life.... :lol:

I'm an engineer and no one gets a long with any mechanicals.... and we have Civil, Electrical, Control Systems, Nuclear, Industrial and Mechanical....

Almost all of them think they are the smartest ****ers ever!

And the funny thing is... The electrical people get paid more than they do!! :lol::lol:
 
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