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Urinal Stage Fright FTL

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by tehnick, Apr 20, 2007.

  1. tehnick

    tehnick ʞɔıuɥǝʇ

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    I really hate when you have to take a piss and some dude ends up following you into the rest room at the same time to the urinal opposite of your left/right side. Then you pull out your gear, but then the ****ing pipes quit working. You can feel your bladder start to swell in pain. Your kidneys thrash around and cause a disruption in your spleen... Then you start to sweat.

    In this devastating 30 second mess, one of you makes a move and flushes the toilet. That once awkward silence diminishes and then the levy breaks, flooding the urinal with pungent yellow fluid like a hurricane rocking a fragile coastal line.

    I used to think that flushing the toilet before you unleashed the hounds was just a way to mask the tiny tinkle of a tiny pee-pee, but now I understand that it is a deterrent in order for a man to conquer what I call Urinal Stage Fright. The next time I am standing there in agony wondering if the dude next to me is trying to catch a glimpse of my 3 inch thunder I will just flush the toilet and do a happy dance on my way out of the bathroom. :thumbup: :lol:
     
  2. J snazzy

    J snazzy Cuttles!

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    I don't have that problem so sucks to be you
     
  3. Culex

    Culex 3.8's Polyglot

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    I have that as well, which is why I go to stalls often.
     
  4. BadAssStang

    BadAssStang Mustang Sally

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    Try to pee on him, he will never follow you again.
     
  5. Slacker

    Slacker Import+Domestic

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    I never have that problem, maybe it's a size issue, and you're scared of somebody finding out.
     
  6. Corrupted

    Corrupted don't be a suck-up...

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    I don't think that is necessarily the problem. It's mostly in their head, big or not.
     
  7. mysteed

    mysteed is back!

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    I've never had that issue.
     
  8. Travis

    Travis Lexus ES350 - Nissan Skyline GTR

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    I'm used to pissing around dudes all the time :uhh:
     
  9. tehnick

    tehnick ʞɔıuɥǝʇ

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    It's not a size issue. I know my size is perfectly fine even though I call it the 3 inch thunder as a joke. It's one of those "is that dude trying to look at my dick!?" thing. I just find it hard to stand there and take a piss when I have a ****ing audience standing next to me, lol. :thumbdown: :lol:
     
  10. mysteed

    mysteed is back!

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    :love:
     
  11. QuadLogic

    QuadLogic Woman Pleaser

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    I only recall one time when I knew two males were checking me out while I was pissing. It was at a high school football game and I was in dire need of draining the excess fluids. Upon waiting in line for what seemed like forever I was finally given the opportunity to urinate in the middle of a trough... between two young boys. Not thinking anything of it at the time I went up and whipped it out to begin. After a few short seconds I noticed both boys on either side of me staring but it was too late. I couldn't stop or else it would've stung. It was quite disturbing.
     
  12. Mustangered

    Mustangered New Member

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    I dont have urinal stage fright.

    But good story.. .
     
  13. Hawkeye4077

    Hawkeye4077 MSTROFPPPETS-XBOXLIVE

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    This is hilarious, needed a good laugh:crazy:
     
  14. 96 Stang

    96 Stang Success.

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    HAHHAHAHAHAHA

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    you show him who's boss
     
  15. 96 Stang

    96 Stang Success.

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    Winner for the best advice of Spring '07
     
  16. 6BlackStang

    6BlackStang 22

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    Wow, when I have to piss really bad the only feeling I get is the greatness of emptying my ****ing bladder...:thumbup: :thumbup:
     
  17. BoomSlang

    BoomSlang ·Y·O·U·F·A·I·L·

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    I'm uncomfortable approaching a urinal when there are dudes in adjects, but beyond that I don't freeze up. It's just like... weird when you're walking up behind someone who has their schlong out.
     
  18. 96 Stang

    96 Stang Success.

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    nah the ones that suck

    are the like horse trauf (spelling, attack me grammar police) urinals

    where its like a big long metal boat that you just whip it out and empty into

    no privacy at all

    and always, and i mean always, in the corner of my eye you see either a little kid or some dude just sittin there....down the ways a little bit.....staring at you


    :shivers:
     
  19. brimg87

    brimg87 New Member

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    Ahhhh I hate the trough! The old Tiger stadium had one of these, worst idea ever. :disgust:
     
  20. rcboarder76

    rcboarder76 Well-Known Member

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    never had a problem like that